


breviloquence

by onepieceofharry



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, Present Tense, Strong Haruno Sakura, Time Travel, kind of, psychic sakura, regardless of the summary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-01-29 12:50:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12631425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onepieceofharry/pseuds/onepieceofharry
Summary: They were always there, just subtle things that she never gave any thought to, and always triggered by the mundane. A laugh from a random shinobi and Sakura would startle in recognition. The flash of colour from a random clan symbol and she would feel a churning in her stomach. The scent of ramen flowing from a nearby vendor would create such a strong sense of fondness she had to restrain herself from begging her mother to stop for lunch. The yowl of a cat, the tread of wooden sandals, the rope as it strained to hold the weight of countless young children wanting to be pushed on the single swing hanging on the tree outside the academy. All these things sent her somewhere else. It was like remembering something that wasn’t hers to remember, exhilarating yes, but more and more concerning as she grew.Sakura has memories that aren't hers. Or, they are hers but a different her. Or maybe she's just insane.





	1. Prologue

A dream or a memory, she never really got the distinction down.

Growing up, Sakura tried her very best to be a normal child. She minded her manners and quietly read her books when she wasn’t tasked with housework. Her mother would blame her book-reading as the source of her oddity ( _”Your mind is always in the clouds Sakura. You have to see how unattractive that is.”_ ) but her books were the one thing Haruno Akane never even attempted to take away from her. Maybe because she knew it was the one thing Sakura would fight her on, or maybe the one thing her husband would fight her on. Either way Sakura got to keep reading and growing an imagination that was guaranteed to get her in trouble.

That day came sooner than expected when she finally did question the dreams in her head, and more importantly the way they made her feel. They were always there, just subtle things that she never gave any thought to, and always triggered by the mundane. A laugh from a random shinobi and Sakura would startle in recognition. The flash of colour from a random clan symbol and she would feel a churning in her stomach. The scent of ramen flowing from a nearby vendor would create such a strong sense of fondness she had to restrain herself from begging her mother to stop for lunch. The yowl of a cat, the tread of wooden sandals, the rope as it strained to hold the weight of countless young children wanting to be pushed on the single swing hanging on the tree outside the academy. All these things sent her somewhere else. It was like remembering something that wasn’t hers to remember, exhilarating yes, but more and more concerning as she grew.

Then she noticed something about the memories. 

They would come before the trigger. 

She would walk down the small dirt trail on the border of a ravine so small there was only one plank of wood to act as a makeshift bridge. Most adults would simply step over it but kids would play there, balancing on the plank as they tried to catch the little fish that frequent the stream by hand. It wasn’t an image, so much as a _knowing_ that the plank would splinter and the boys would end up soaked. She tried to call a warning but the boys sneered at her. Told her to stop playing adult and just leave them be. But they fell, just like Sakura knew they would. 

Those boys may have been the ones drenched in freezing water, but it was Sakura who shook.

She noticed it more then. Just the idea of knowing things before they happen put her previous experiences into a new perspective, and she was forced to reconcile that it had happened before. Over and over she predicts something, whether because she sees it in her mind’s eye or just by _knowing._ And always she is proven correct. Though not everything she believes to happen comes to pass, she’s convinced it’s not that she is wrong, but that the event just hasn’t come to pass _yet_. But it will. It always does.

When she was seven she screamed into her pillow as a memory of annihilation and parricide assaulted her. And when she woke up the next morning to wailing in the streets, she knew that another memory had come true.

When she entered the academy she was exposed to a new problem. Before the only true interactions she had was with her parents, but now she wanted a friend. Sakura always had a developed sense of self-consciousness, which unfortunately was poorly paired with her underdeveloped sense of self-awareness. The academy had a lot of memories tied to it; the instructors voice, the smell of ink, the burn in her muscles. So often she would retreat inside herself as awareness assaulted her in that special way it had her entire life, except this time she had an entire classroom as an audience. 

Sakura was odd, and anything odd wasn’t allowed. The other kids would avoid her, and when she worked up the courage to approach them they sent her away. She didn’t understand why until one truly horrible classmate told her.

“You’re always acting weird around normal things. There’s obviously something wrong with you.” She paused. “And you also have a wide forehead.”

Sakura cried the whole way home after that incident but met the next day with a burning resolve.

Slowly, she pushed down the memories. Shoved them so far to the back of her mind that she couldn’t ever unconsciously react again. She was raised to be a proper lady with manners and charm, to see that she failed at that because of some ridiculous anomaly she couldn’t control infuriated her just as much as it shamed her. She fought the impulse to react to the memories until the memories themselves seemed to fade. Soon, she could get through an entire week without them. Then a month, and then the rest of her career at the academy. That godforsaken crack about her forehead would haunt her but she would make friends, lose friends, have crushes, take tests and all in all become a person with an active social life. 

Sakura was happiest then. Content. The memories were finally distant, and it was easy to forget their existence entirely.

But now.

Now she will never have that luxury again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things before we begin. First, I know Sakura's parents are already confirmed to some degree with the anime but, uh, I'd prefer to create new characters with civilian backgrounds. I haven't actually watched or read naruto in quite a while and while I do over-research for fics so _hopefully_ there won't be any continuity errors I can't guarantee it. This fic will expand on the naruto universe as I've seen other fics do and will eventually make sakura super op, but she's a hardcore coward in the beginning because who doesn't love humble beginnings? I will eventually have a romance in this fic but I haven't decided which of these lovelies will end up being the lucky one to end up with sakura. Either way that's a few thousand k down the line but hey as the story progresses you can just tell me which relationship you think is the best. There will be no character bashing in this fic, but flaws will be explored. It'll be fun! No worries! If you have any cool ideas or opinions don't be shy! I'm pretty good with replying to comments but if you have a burning question just message me over tumblr, that's the easiest way to guarantee an answer. 
> 
> http://one-piece-of-harry.tumblr.com/


	2. It's a Start

The bridge-builder dutifully stays behind her even as soft sounds of distress build in her throat. Kakashi-sensei’s much farther along the bridge, locked in an S-rank battle with the demon of the mist. Her two teammates are closer, trapped inside ice mirrors the henchmen had erected and fighting for their lives against a ninja so skilled it could only end in disaster. Sakura had been on edge the entire fight, but now the tension rises to unbearable heights. The mist is too thick to have any visual on the fight, but the sudden change of pressure in the atmosphere is enough to focus her attention in the correct direction. This force is different. Stronger. Hateful. And growing. Even just the idea of facing such a power causes her heart to beat faster in her chest. When the furor finally reveals itself in an explosion of red, it’s more than terror that Sakura is forced to face.

Chakra so corrosive and malevolent it scorches the air, dissipating the mist and making every breath burn. A power so horrible and grand that it’s clearly visible, even across the fog and distance of the almost completed bridge. Rage seems to seep out and into the stone, the promise of violence so absolute it causes her to stifle a sob even as her mind startles in recognition.

_Demon._

Sakura whines like an animal caught in a trap as long forgotten awareness floods her, sharper than she had ever experienced as a child. It was so long ago, the last time Sakura felt her strange mind give her memories that weren’t hers, but she knows with her whole heart that this rush of knowledge is _not_ something she has ever felt before.

Instead of a fleeting scent or single vision, she sees all. The disjointed memories that plagued her youth form a linear pattern that she can trace all the way back to this moment; the moment where the kyuubi first slithers a thread of chakra through the seal.

_Naruto._

_Naruto is the kyuubi jinchuriki._

Revulsion follows the discovery and immediately after that, shame. Because Naruto doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve the scorn of the village for something he should be called a hero for, and even though he lost control she doesn’t hold it against him. They were up against Orochimaru, of course this happened. He doesn’t remember hurting her and Sakura isn’t going to tell. Naruto is her friend and he doesn’t need this weighing on his mind when they are finally so close to finding Sasuke-

Vomit puddles at Sakura’s feet as her stomach rebels. Before, the memories would come to her individually, each one brought on by some outside sensation that would give her a brief glimpse into a time that wasn’t her own. Now the information is stretched out before her, all she has to do is reach out and touch it. 

_Wood style ninjutsu, an old pervert sage, buying two flowers even though Ino only gets one-_

Tears leak from her eyes and she violently shakes her head, headless of the black spots appearing in her vision. It’s _too much._ Sakura is just a genin, a twelve year old girl. She isn’t equipped to deal with this kind of thing. _No one_ is equipped to deal with this. At least before she could chalk it up to her mind playing tricks on her, or choose to believe it was just the active imagination of a bookish child that caused her to think she could see the future. Now though, there is only fear and the bone deep certainty that the memories that aren’t hers, are hers. That the knowledge of things that never happened, will happen. 

The idea of a genjutsu comes up and while Sakura’s logical mind dismisses it immediately, the panicked, hysterical part of her mind desperately forces her shaking hands together to gather chakra. 

“Kai!”

Nothing happens just like she knew nothing would happen. 

Sakura falls to her knees as her strength leaves her, the feeling of defeat strong despite having fought no battles. Darkness swarms her vision and as her consciousness fades in the wake of such a turmoil Sakura feels a dying ember of amusement.

Somehow, she has simultaneously never fought, and fought enough battles to last a lifetime.

***

The following days are spent in a state of delirium. 

Team seven stays another week to protect Tazuna as he finishes the bridge he named Naruto (no, not named. Will name) just to ensure no lowlifes get any funny ideas about taking revenge for killing their meal ticket. Tsunami is perfectly happy to accommodate them after the bridge incident and Inari seems to have changed his mood entirely, laughing easily and dogging Naruto’s every step. A new breath of life takes over the small village, the citizens who weren’t there to take a stand against Gato come out in droves to cry and laugh and thank their neighbors who took up hoes and hatchets in order to protect them. The festive atmosphere gradually turns into an actual festival on the last day they decide to stay. _Everyone_ comes out to dance and drink and feast on the measly cuisine their poor village could scrounge up. People covered in dirt, in rags, bone skinny and visibly exhausted all come out to dance and converse and just generally rejoice in the victory, in the inevitable prosperity The Great Naruto bridge will bring. 

Except Sakura.

Crouched under the tree Sakura had spent her nights with after the bridge battle she clutches at her head, hiccuping breaths as slowly as she can manage so she doesn’t hyperventilate. This specific tree had become her home in the week they’d spent watching the bridge connect to the mainland. Only her over-developed sense of etiquette and ninja training had kept her from screaming in terror every time a new memory would assault her, tearing open a field of information on things she shouldn’t know. It doesn’t hurt, just like a cup of black coffee doesn’t hurt, but it’s overwhelming and makes her choke on the need to spit it out. 

Sakura isn’t adjusting, but she needs to muddle through. Somehow. She _cannot_ let anyone know about what is happening to her mind.

Telling Kakashi-sensei about the memories had only crossed her thoughts momentarily as a way to save her pride after they woke her from her faint on the bridge. The thought was quickly smothered as soon as it surfaced because Sakura may act the fool sometimes, but she isn’t one. Everyone knows how mental instability is regarded in the village. Sure, the academy teaches proper procedures for dealing with trauma and what to do if you struggle, where to go, who to talk to. But that was for normal shinobi difficulties. Hearing voices? Or however the hell you would quantify what’s going on with Sakura, isn’t accepted. Ninja diagnosed with paranoia, anxiety, or compulsive behaviour are just good ninja. Flashbacks, insubordination, or self-harm? That’s alright! There are plenty of tools available for struggling shinobi to take advantage of. The worst thing that could happen is temporary leave, or maybe, if it’s really bad, retirement. But delusions? Missing time? Losing control of that carefully cultivated body and mind full of village secrets? Well…that’s a problem. 

Sakura might not end up in T&I but what’s happening to her isn’t normal, and they wouldn’t treat her normally. Before she went to the academy she did try and tell people what was going on, though she didn’t really understand it herself. _Oh, honey I get it. Sometimes I’ll do something and think “Oh! This has already happened.” It’s just your brain playing tricks on you. Don’t worry Sakura._ In all honesty, even at that time Sakura should have known not to go to her father with her concerns, but anytime she would broach the subject with anyone her age they gave her the usual funny looks until she stopped asking. 

“Sakura-chan.”

Sakura jumps at the voice next to her ear where she’s perched on a load-bearing branch of her tree. Naruto holds up his hands in surrender when she twists just a bit too roughly to face him.

“What do you want, Naruto?”

Naruto sheepishly scratches the back of his head and looks down and away. Sakura sighs at the familiar gesture and prepares herself for the usual tame violence she uses in the face of Naruto’s attempts to flirt when Naruto surprises her.

“Are you okay?” he asks, no hubris or pandering, just an honest question framed by the crease of concern in his eyebrows.

Sakura’s speechless in the face of the earnest worry on Naruto’s- her _friend’s_ face. Naruto is her friend, in another life. They went out and got ramen and fought and trained and Naruto would give his life for her, as would she. 

_But that Naruto isn’t the one_ I _trained with._ I _have no experience with the Naruto in the memories. That’s a different me, and a different Naruto._

“Sasuke’s worried too. I know the teme would never admit it but you’ve been acting very different since the fight, Sakura.”

Sakura swallows roughly, pushing past the small part of her that sang in joy that Sasuke would care about her at all, and focuses on the boy in front of her.

“Why should you worry about me? I didn’t have to fight. I stayed back and _fainted_ like a coward.” Because that’s all they’ll see. A weak girl who couldn’t stomach the action of a real fight and it _burns_ her to think of it. Even as she questions her own sanity she still cares so much about how other people think of her, and she hates herself even more because of it.

“That’s not true Sakura-chan!” Naruto exclaims, pushing to his feet and getting in a pose to yell obnoxiously loud like he always does. “You are _not_ a coward! And you aren’t weak!”

Naruto huffs and shrinks just a bit of his bravado to nervously press his index fingers together. “I mean, yeah I think I could beat you in a fight, and I know Sasuke-teme could too, but the other stuff? The more important stuff? The kind of things that actually makes you win? You’re strong Sakura. Not even Sasuke can keep up.”

Sakura’s whole face lifts in surprise even as she fights the instinct to defend Sasuke-kun. “You mean intelligence?”

Naruto waves her off. “No no, not that. Though you’re plenty smart too Sakura-chan. I mean-” Naruto pauses and shakes his head. “I mean the kind of strong where you never give up. Where you keep going no matter what the world throws at you. That kind of strong. That’s the kind that matters.”

Unbidden, Sakura feels a blush heat her face. “So…perseverance?”

She’s rewarded with a blinding smile. “Yup! And you should know that your punches _really_ hurt Sakura-chan. So don’t you think you’re weak in that department either!”

Naruto nods to himself and crosses his arms, satisfied with his weird pep-talk/telling off. Sakura sends her teammate a soft, genuine smile, the first one she’s ever given him. No, not a teammate, her friend. Naruto is her friend.

Something eases just a bit inside her as she decides that, the monumental weight she’d acquired a week ago feeling fractionally lighter. 

Sakura punches Naruto’s arm playfully. “You know, you’re pretty smart Naruto.”

Naruto laughs and blusters in the way he usually does but Sakura doesn’t feel a bit of annoyance. The newly familiar feeling of a memory that wasn’t her own trying to manifest makes her mood plummet, but instead of ignoring the feeling and pushing it down, she summons her courage and reaches out.

It’s Naruto, and he’s laughing in the exact same way he’s laughing right now; light and carefree, in that genuinely happy way only Naruto can laugh. He’s older, late teens early twenties, and dressed in all black with the barest hint of orange trimming. 

Sakura’s heart hurts just a bit but, as she further immerses herself in the memory she _feels_ what the other Sakura felt. Instead of the fondness she expected, this Sakura is worried, biting her lip as she tries to contain her need to mother her friend, but even stronger is a feeling of conviction so fierce and unshakable that Sakura can only experience it with a growing sense of awe.

_I will protect my precious people._

The resolve intimidated her, her own lack of confidence makes her shy away from a belief that strong.

But…

But that resolve was _hers._ Maybe a different Sakura, but somehow she had grown strong enough to be that kind of person. 

Potential.

A memory of a busty blonde kunoichi rises in her mind.

_You have potential, Sakura._

 

***

 

The memories aren’t like the rush of information that had led to her fainting on the bridge, nor is it like the impressions she’d had as a child. Instead they were like pathways, each new memory giving life to another, every detail triggering an offshoot into something new. 

Currently, Sakura trails behind her teammates on the way back to Konoha, Sasuke-kun and Naruto pulling ahead in some weird ghost of a race, each wanting to be slightly ahead of the other. Normally Sakura would roll her eyes at Naruto’s ridiculous competition (and sometime, somewhere, Sakura has rolled her eyes more times than she can count at Sasuke) but she simply can’t be bothered. For obvious reasons, she stays back from the duo, trapped in her own thoughts she doesn’t dare voice. She may not be shaking under a tree, but adapting to the _knowing_ takes longer than a few days, and she has many things to consider.

“Sakura.”

Sakura quickly schools her expression and turns to face Kakashi-sensei, who walks slightly behind team seven in order to ‘keep an eye on them’.

“Yes, Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi keeps his head buried in the sinful literature he’d been neglecting and replies. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet.”

Sakura pauses and stifles the immediate flare of panic that seems to have permanently wedged itself in her chest. 

“I’m alright Sensei. Just ready to go home.”

Kakashi-sensei’s visible eye flicks upwards to inspect her which she allows placidly. He must find whatever it is he’s looking for because after only a moment his eye crinkles minutely and easily fall back on his smut. 

A thought, inorganically drawn from her false memories, explains. Kakashi-sensei may be a great ninja-one of the best-but as a sensei he was really clueless.

***

Sensei gives them three days off after their mission in the Land of Waves and Sakura spends the first day in bed. 

Regardless of her strange surge of courage in the land of waves she has yet to actually touch the vast wealth of knowledge at her disposal. Sakura knows that the future is filled with danger and she knows that the knowledge inside her head can help but _how_ can it help? _Knowing_ what’s going to happen is worthless without a way to prevent it. If she goes to anyone who could actually do some good with the information they probably won’t believe a genin, and if they do then they’ll definitely ask her where she got it. So is it better to forget? Let the memories fade naturally and face the danger the exact same way she had done in her memories?

_Coward._

No stranger to shame, Sakura easily chokes down the feeling.

As a shinobi, the importance of information gathering was drilled into her head at the academy, along with making use of every tool available. Sakura isn’t about to run the risk of seeing people die when she could have prevented it.

She turns over on her side where she’s snuggled under the heavy warm comfort of her bedding, then groans, sends a prayer up for kami-sama, and closes her eyes. She tentatively nudges the memories, wanting just a broad understanding of the danger to come without overwhelming herself like she’s done so often already. The image of a cloak with red clouds comes to mind and before Sakura can dive deeper she is assaulted with a feeling of burning hatred. 

She recoils at the feeling. Apparently her alter ego has many intense emotions.

Shaking it off, she continues her exploration until she finally has to give up. There’s just too much information and not enough time to properly go through it all, but one thing is blindingly obvious. 

That Sakura is strong. While she is weak.

Experimentally, she closes her hand into a fist and squeezes, feeling her bicep flex and muscles coil. Her body is small. In terms of mass, she’s almost half the size of the counterpart in her mind, but her physical strength is barely a tenth of what the other Sakura can do. Her ninjutsu is almost non-existent, her genjutsu is only good for a genin, and taijutsu is abysmal, not even worth mentioning. How the hell that other Sakura could manage to get so strong is beyond her.

Except…it isn’t, right?

A thrill goes through her and she bolts up in bed. She doesn’t only have to use the memories as a way to learn about future enemies, she can use it to further her present. To further herself.

Sakura swiftly closes her eyes and pokes around her head. Instantly she is met with hundreds of katas, dozens of A-rank jutsu, advanced chakra theory, elemental jutsu, funjutsu, _medical ninjutsu-_

Sakura jumps from the bed and lets out an elated laugh, the first stirrings of hope in her chest. She can _work_ with this. Anything she’s ever need to know about being a ninja she already _does._ There’s everything her alter ego had known, just waiting to be explored and learned and adopted. She could do anything with this knowledge, and there’s probably even more than just ninja know-how. There’s probably skills like how to cook the perfect bento or how to flirt without making an ass of herself or the best places to get the best deal for clothes. She has the life skills of a grown woman in her head, free to access whenever she wants.

For the first time since the bridge, her situation starts to look more like a blessing than a curse.

Eager to get started on the training that made her into such a strong kunoichi, she tries to figure out where she should start. Her ninjutsu is the obvious choice for her, it being the flashiest form of combat, but she was pegged as a genjutsu type. Is it better to hone her strengths? Or what about medical ninjutsu? Being able to heal herself and her teammates seems invaluable and something she should start on right away.

Unable to decide what would be best, Sakura grins slyly and turns her question inward. She gently pokes information in her head with words that will hopefully take her where she wants to go like ‘early training’ and ‘beginning’ and after sifting through some memories of her academy days she finally finds the memory she wants and groans.

Apparently the Sakura in her head was forced to work on her stamina before she was allowed to learn anything fun.

She briefly considers skipping that area before rolling her eyes. She isn’t Naruto.

The sun is still out, even if Sakura isn’t sure how long she’d spent lazing around. After a quick brush through her hair and the prerequisite primping she leaps out her window and heads for an oft forgotten training ground. Her fear of the memories are wildly dwarfed by the fear of being discovered, and who knows what expressions Sakura will pull in her training. Who knows what she’ll _see._

Her body is buzzing when she finally gets there, and without hesitation she sinks down into a meditation pose.

The other Sakura had done plenty of different routines to train her stamina and she was eager to try them all, but the mere thought of doing so brings her to numerous other memories where she pushed herself too hard and damaged her body. The residual shame from the memories causes present-day Sakura to sheepishly scratch behind her head, but nevertheless she warms up her muscles with the rudimentary exercises they are taught in the academy. 

Then…well. It seems there is one exercise that is guaranteed to help her, no matter her skill level.

Sakura groans and starts running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out, in doing my research for this fic that I don't actually like that much of the canon in the later series, so the future "memories" are going to be very selective but will follow canon until peins attack. Also Sakura's parents are ocs. Most of the next chapter is written and I actually wanted them to be all one chapter but this seemed better. There are big plans for this fic so I want to get right to the juicy stuff as quickly as I can. If you have any questions you can message me on tumblr where I'm guaranteed to reply, or just leave a comment but it's 50/50 ha. See ya!


	3. Only Two Hands

Weeks of non-stop jogging around the village and Sakura is ready to swear off being a ninja all-together. 

The memories give her all the information she needs on training her stamina but it doesn’t magically give her the determination it takes to push herself (strangely enough though, the word ‘determination’ _does_ brings forth the image of green jumpsuits and bowl haircuts). Sakura does her training with an instinct that isn’t her own and she resents every second, feeling like the lazy lump Ino was unlucky enough to be teamed up with. The stitches in her side and the acid in her throat are constant reminders of the immense toil she’s putting herself under, and it’s only the foreboding memories she still refuses to examine in full that keep her on her feet.

Her routine gets much worse when team seven returns to their usual schedule. Every day Kakashi-sensei tells them to meet at the bridge and everyday he’s late, which leaves a few hours just sitting around doing nothing. Before the mission in the Land of Waves Sakura secretly loved this time, now she sits there and jitters with the need to _do something._ So she decides to work on her chakra control.

The other Sakura had a bunch of meditation exercises to cycle chakra through the body and practice holding it in different locations which is _hard._ Sakura always prided herself on her impeccable chakra control, but compared to the memories, she’s worse than bad. Even _Naruto_ has better chakra control, albeit when he’s much older.

Still though, she can’t let that stand.

Her teammates don’t seem to notice what she’s doing, which Sakura is both smugly pleased by and terrified of how little they can sense chakra. They do notice how she disappears every day after training to go work on her stamina, but only Naruto seems put-out by it. For some reason, Sakura enjoys her training in the evening. Before Wave, she would just go home and read, or half heartedly throw shuriken at a dummy she made. Now she has an _objective._ A goal. A goal that terrifies her and messes with her sleep schedule sure, but a goal nonetheless.

Every day she starts with an hour just running around the village. So far she’s up to two and a half laps around the village barriers in that time, which isn’t that impressive. Her counterpart can run ten times that without using chakra (and using chakra to enhance physical ability? Genius.) but Sakura also sees that there’s no way she can achieve that time until she grows a bigger body. The two men guarding the gate _(Izumo and Kotetsu)_ see her every day now and always send her off with words of encouragement and _always_ ask her how many laps she accomplished that day. Sakura cringes every time but answers honestly. She doesn’t know why they care to ask, they’ll just see her again in a few hours for her cool-down lap. 

After her laps she goes to a secluded training ground (which is _extremely_ hard to find. Konoha shinobi don’t slouch) and practices katas she shouldn’t know. It’s exhilarating, knowing things, having an unlimited resource she can exploit. She may get frustrated with her body (which, admittedly, is a feeling she is intimately familiar with, albeit in a different capacity) but her mind has never let her down, and now it never will. 

Sakura experiments with the memories, one of her first experiments being water walking. It’s harder than tree walking, true, but overall it’s a complete success which prompts her experimentation with different exercises in chakra control. Apparently, there are a _lot._ Keeping a leaf glued to her forehead is another common tactic they taught in the academy, but the Other Sakura altered the exercise and moved the leaf around her body just using chakra. After a week she replaces the chakra control techniques she does in the morning with the new exercise, and after that she moves onto string. Manipulating the string like a worm, making knots and bows and bracelets, running chakra through the string and making it ‘sit-up’ on her skin. Sakura is vaguely aware that she is progessing much faster in her chakra control than her counterpart but it’s so _easy._ Sakura _feels_ like she’s already done these exercises before, and she knows exactly how they are done. It’s not like physical training that is taxing in a different way. When it comes to understanding something, it feels like she already does, and that she’s simply remembering.

After their lazy sensei finally shows up and deigns to give them D-rank mission they regroup for team training. This is the worst part of the day for her. Even though Sakura can _feel_ herself getting stronger, for some Uchiha shaped reason she can never perform at her best. Squaring off against Sasuke-kun or sparring with him watching puts her on edge, and not in the normal way. Before, she would take advantage of this time to strategically get close to her crush, now she stays as far back as Sasuke will allow, dodging and weaving away from blows yet rarely returning her own. And the worst part is that there have been moments where she _knew_ she could have beaten him. Sasuke-kun is a genius but still genin-level, and he leaves openings. There have been so many moments where his stance was off a bit or he was just a moment too slow and Sakura could never take advantage. 

With Naruto it’s different. Naruto’s taijutsu isn’t as precise as Sasuke-kun’s, more of a brawler type of fighting that he will later refine, but sparring with Naruto is _fun._ He puts his whole heart into the fight and tries to _out-think_ her. She never noticed before, but it’s glaringly obvious now that Naruto puts everything into his fights. Sakura pushes herself to keep up with him in terms of speed and strength, but her real advantage is strategy. Naruto plows right ahead and makes her think he’s playing the fool and then halfway through the fight he will switch up the style and suddenly Sakura is on the defensive, pulling back and trying to put some space between them. Eventually Sakura gets the upper hand again and then the whole cycle repeats. It’s _fun._ This time when she sees an opening it isn’t fear that stops her, but the desire to keep the spar going. She learns a lot, and while she does feel like she’s holding herself back just a bit it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. The turmoil of emotions and confusion is quiet when she spars with Naruto. The only memory that prods at her is just a strong feeling of nostalgia, of love. 

(Sparing with Kakashi-sensei always lands her flat on her face, no matter how much she thinks she’s grown. She doesn’t dwell on it.)

So it’s difficult, painful, exhilarating, and extraordinary all at once. Her life has changed so drastically but it feels natural. This is what she’s meant to do. She is meant to be a shinobi.

And she’s going to be a damn good one.

***

They’ve just finished another D-rank mission and predictably Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei have better things to do than hang around her. What isn’t that predictable is that somehow Naruto has managed to befriend three academy students. Three _annoying_ academy students.

Sakura had wanted to slack a little today. It’s been months since the Land of Waves and more importantly since Sakura has started her training. She could wipe the floor with Ino, she’s sure of it, and if she’s being completely honest with herself she definitely feels like she could take Sasuke, even though actually sparring with him is still tough for her psychologically. She really needs to figure out why she has such a mental block with Sasuke but something tells her she really doesn’t want to know. 

Her chakra control is near perfect. It isn’t something she can slack off in because as her chakra reserves expand so too does her control need to be refined, but for the reserves she has now there isn’t a single exercise in chakra control she thinks she would fail. 

Her physical strength is…better. Her stamina and endurance is leagues ahead than what they were months ago but in terms of brute strength she’s still behind the boys. 

_Not for long though._ She thinks smugly. _Once I practice sending chakra to my muscles they’ll never be able to keep up._

All in all, Sakura has learned to live with the memories, and more importantly, to use them to her advantage. So, she wanted to slack off a bit today, to celebrate. She’s stronger and a better ninja, and though she knows Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t want to accompany her for some lunch, Naruto is her friend and is always in the mood for ramen.

_Did you see how wide her forehead is?_

Sakura twitches. If only he didn’t have such an irritating fan club.

Before she can mete out vengeance on the little terror, said terror runs into a foreign nin.

The shinobi are from Sunagakure, their hitai-ate recognizable by the hourglass. The girl is dressed, in Sakura’s own personal opinion, a bit ostentatiously. The strange style of dress Sakura has never seen before is violet, with fishnets along her shoulders and mismatched on either leg. She has a giant weapon strapped to her back that Sakura instinctively knows is a fan. The boy is more comfortable, perhaps too comfortable. He’s wearing a black jumpsuit but the shape and fit of the garment makes it look like pyjamas. Whatever intimidation that takes away is more than made up for by the extravagant ink painted onto a mean expression.

_Kankuro. Temari._

As soon as the thoughts surface the one named “Kankuro” is hefting Konohamaru into the air. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. The whole thing was my fault.” Says Sakura because she has manners. Unfortunately, she also has the conviction of a jounin running around in her head and Sakura isn’t exactly known for holding her tongue. “Now put the boy down.”

Naruto says much the same, though with more yelling.

Kankuro smirks at them then turns to Temari. “We have some time before he gets here. Let’s play with these guys.”

Which doesn’t make any _sense._ Sakura quickly scans the memories that rise up in relation to these punks and every single one she sees are all warm and as companions. _Why_ are they doing this? 

Whatever the case, Sakura was already on her last nerve before they got here.

“Sand shinobi, hunh? Kind of suspicious, you picking on the hokage’s grandson.”

Kankuro stills.

“Is this some kind of statement? Not up to something, are you shinobi-san?”

_They are._

Sakura had only asked the rhetorical question to threaten them, but as soon as the sentence is voiced her mind supplies her with image upon image of dead shinobi in the streets, homes and businesses destroyed, and names added to a beautiful piece of stone so close to her training grounds.

She can feel the blood leave her face, chest tightening in fear.

_They’re here to destroy our village._

She ignores Kankuro grudgingly setting the kid down and instead chases the memories. _How_ could they pull that off? Konohagakure is much too strong for the sand to ever have half a chance of succeeding. They must have something-

_Demon._

Just as the thought joins the jumbled mess of her mind a kid with red hair and bruised eyes makes his presence known.

“You’re an embarrassment to our village.”

Sakura stares at the boy, hanging upside down from a tree of all things. Vaguely she notes that Sasuke's there as well _(weak. You should have sensed them. You’re weak.)_ but her entire focus is on the boy.

_The demon._

Unfortunately for her, the vast majority of the memories his presence brings are full of camaraderie and friendship.

_Did I just go around making friends with the scariest looking people I could find?!_

The boy ( _Gaara_ ) scolds Kankuro in a way that’s less scolding and more a promise of death. Despite the memories in her head Sakura decides he’s bad news. Sasuke seems to pick up on the danger as well with how he’s glaring.

“W-wha-” Sakura stutters. She clears her throat and forces courage into her words. “What are you doing here? You need permission to enter another's village.”

Temari smirks. “What, have you been living under a rock? We have permission.” _Of course they do._ “We’re here for the chunin examinations.”

And just like that, all the air leaves Sakura’s lungs.

_Chunin exams. The beginning of the end._

_Orochimaru. Sasuke. Hokage-sama. Otogakure. The forest of death.”_

Sakura whimpers and clutches at her head.

_One of the legendary sanin is here to destroy Konoha and hurt Sasuke._

The sand nin don’t really know what to do with her apparent distress so they just sneer and turn to go their own way. Sakura can see that they’re dangerous, and here to kill people, but she lets them go anyways.

And she _hates herself._

The next month and a half is stretched out before her. Easily accessible with just the word ‘chunin’. She sees everything. She knows everything.

Some kind of posturing went on while she was trapped inside her head, she knows this because she knows her team. Naruto is still at her side, asking what’s wrong but Sasuke is staring after the nin with a strange bloodlust in his eyes.

Sakura…this is what she’s been training for. This is the future she knows she has to face, but now that she sees it she feels like she can’t go forward.

_But I must._

Not for the first time Sakura curses her mind.

_You knew this was coming. You’re the only one who knows this is coming. What are you going to do about it, Sakura?_

With all the will Sakura can muster, she pushes the fear to the side and focuses on the mission.

_We win._

Bitter satisfaction courses through her. They will try and take Konoha, but they will lose.

_At what cost._

_The third hokage’s funeral is beautiful. Everyone in the village comes out to lay an offering on the tomb, and true to form, the heavens weep. The bratty kid she had pummeled once upon a time is there, screaming his grief despite the pressure to be silent. That was his grandfather, people should cut him some slack. Well, that was just Sakura’s personal opinion. Kami-sama knows she wishes she was allowed to cry, but she’s a ninja now. Though, she didn’t do much, was even unconscious during the big fight. She was a victim, forced to wait there in the dark as who knows what happens around her, and just hope that someone would take the time to save a mere genin-_

“Sakura-chan!”

Naruto’s voice pops the memory and she falls to her knees, holding onto her stomach contents by a thread.

Naruto insists she goes to the hospital, which she easily ignores. Sasuke chimes in his own agreement to the idea and that’s harder to ignore, but she does it.

“Sorry guys. I think I’m just going to go home.”

Naruto protests while Sasuke purses his lips before turning on his heel with a curt “whatever.”

She can’t slack off. She can’t slow down. People are coming for her village, for her team. 

Wind whistles in her ears as she rushes home. Tomorrow Kakshi-sensei will tell them about the chunin exams, and five days from then they will all enter a world of danger they aren’t prepared for. Sakura will be prepared. She’s going to _pour_ over the memories, going to push herself to know every detail that could save their lives. She’s going to pack and bring every scrap of gear she could even imagine needing and practice as much jutsu as she can fit into the tiny window of calm she’s been given before the storm. No ramen today, unfortunately, she has things to do.

***

“Sorry I’m late! Afraid I got lost on the path of life.”

“Liar!”

Kakashi chuckles at the twin voices of his more…active students.

“I know this is a bit sudden, but I recommended you for the chunin exams-all three of you."

And wasn’t _that_ a controversial opinion, apparently.

Kakashi doesn’t know their old sensei very well but first impressions-wise the man had not endeared himself. Sure, okay, maybe Kakashi doesn’t think his students are ready to be chunin, and _maybe_ just the thought of putting them on a squad without his supervision causes a shiver to run down his spine, but Kakashi has been around for a while. This is the only time the chunin exams will be held in Konohagakure for at least a couple years, and Kakashi knows his team of headstrong little cretins won’t wait that long to take the exam again. Best that they go out and gather some intelligence on the exam before they have to do it in an unknown country with foreign nin breathing down their necks. 

Though he didn’t think it was prudent to share his thoughts at that time, with an angry chunin already glaring daggers at him, either way he had confidence that his students would do well.

Staring at the genin before him, he’s actually starting to reconsider.

Sasuke and Naruto react exactly as he expects, though the little twirl he gives Naruto when the boy flings himself at him was a bit much. Sakura looks…different.

He knew that she would be more reticent to the idea, being both more cautious and less strong than the boys, but overall she’s a good ninja, and doesn’t really know enough about what the exams entails to be reacting the way she is.

There’s no reason she should look like she’s about to face a kage.

Sakura’s pale, with dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept at all the night before. Worse yet, her body language is not withdrawn, like nervousness would imply, but coiled. Tense. Everything about her screams fear, but there’s a healthy dose of resignation there as well.

“…you don’t have to. It’s up to you if you want to participate.” Kakashi says, carefully making it seem as though he isn't addressing her or singling her out.

For some reason that just made her expression darken, the resignation shifting into something like determination, which, he supposes, is better. 

“Don’t worry sensei! We know!”

Kakashi ignores the loud orange monster who speaks on behalf of the group and focuses on Sakura.

“If you want to participate sign the application and bring it to room 301 of the academy at three p.m five days from now.”

Sakura nods grimly, easily takes the offered application, pockets it, and turns away.

_Damn._

Kakashi can admit to never really taking an interest in the only female part of team seven, though not for that quality. Sasuke and Naruto are _dangerous._ Sasuke has a questionable hold on sanity and a destiny drenched in blood, while Naruto is the Kyuubi jinchuriki. Sakura is from a civilian family, both parents alive, and no especially exemplary skills that would make her a target. She excels in theory, but her temperament isn’t that of a shinobi, and it didn’t seem to be changing anytime soon.

This, though. This strange… _grit_ in the face of a challenge is not like her. And it’s foreboding. It’s the first dredges of the thing that has taken so many shinobi lives since the founding of the hidden villages.

Kakashi really doesn’t like it.


	4. To the Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to go through and edit this one more time eventually but here's the next chapter! We're so close to the scene that made me want to write this fic...so close...also! I do think sakushika is going to evventually be the prevailing ship but we're only about 10k words in dudes. It's going to be a while before anything like that happens. Hope you like it!

Sakura loves her hair.

As far she knows she’s the only person in the entire village to grow the specific shade of bubblegum pink. Neither of her parents have the distinctive colour, instead they have the muted brown common in any of the great nations. She treats it right, with proper shampoos and oils and brushes it until it shines every day. It’s her pride, and the one thing she and her mother bond over.

Haruno Akane isn’t exactly the easiest woman to get along with. She’d married strategically, into a merchant clan to raise her status from being the child of nameless refugees into something more respectable. Her mother is a severe woman, and subtly sexist in a way that makes Sakura uncomfortable more often than not. It was only the promise that Sakura would train beside clan heirs that ultimately led Akane to enroll Sakura in the academy, in the hopes that Sakura would eventually marry upwards as she had done. 

Her mother isn’t very vain, but she knows a lot about beautifying herself ( _”as any respectable young woman should”_ ) and taught Sakura the basics as well as paid for the array of beauty products lining the bathroom walls. Sakura never really talks with her mother unless it’s for beauty (or a lecture) so that’s the thing they bonded over.

Which means it’s especially difficult for Sakura to realize she can’t keep her hair the way it is.

She had kept her hair down as much as she could the last few months, and made sure that it was always down if anyone was around. Training with the team and D-rank missions were all done with her beautiful rose locks free to fly in the wind, but doing the training she was pushing herself to do in her spare time she just didn’t have the time or patience to leave it down. 

In the last five days Sakura has gone over all the Other memories of the chunin exam. She’d taken notes but destroyed them soon after, not feeling comfortable leaving any physical evidence of her strangeness. The thing she’s most uncomfortable with from the memories was not the gore or the fear, (though they certainly still took their toll) it’s the hair. 

It’s silly, she knows, even as she stares ruefully at her reflection in the mirror just hours before she’s supposed to be at the academy for the final exam. All this fuss for something so trivial, and the Other Sakura had made that sacrifice when the time came. But Sakura loves her hair, and just can’t bear to see it cut.

She knows, vaguely, that the Other Sakura had worn her hair short for the rest of the memories. As a symbol to her nindo, as a symbol of her conviction, as a remembrance of her weakness. But the Sakura she is now is different than the ones in her memories, a whole other person entirely. She’d had a fear, when Sakura first started her training, that she would be consumed by the memories. That her previous personality would stop existing and the Sakura in her mind would take over. 

But she refused. 

She isn’t that Sakura. 

Now, as she carefully braids her too-long hair into one long rope and curls it into a bun at the back of her head, she knows in her heart of hearts that she _isn’t_ that Sakura. 

_That_ Sakura wouldn’t be so afraid.

***

“I see you’ve come Sakura.”

Even as Kakashi-sensei says it, she can tell it’s different from the memory.

Sakura, in her nervousness, had propelled her team past the genjutsu trap and avoided the taijutsu expert wanting to take Sasuke down a peg or two, but now she wishes she’d stalled.

The Kakashi-sensei in her memory was just as severe as the one before her, but he was relaxed. The one in her memories had the usual aloofness down pat, but the sensei in front of her is tense, eyes open just slightly wider as he observes his genin team.

Sakura shakes herself slightly when she realizes everyone is waiting on her response.

“What do you mean Sensei? Why wouldn’t I come?”

_It’s different than before. He didn’t mention anything about officially registering us for the exam. He only mentioned me._

Kakashi-sensei shrugs off the question. “No reason.”

Silence fills the academy corridor and Naruto shuffles awkwardly as Kakashi-sensei stares his students down.

Sasuke tsks. “Are you going to get out of the way?”

Sakura’s need to punish rudeness wars with her need to agree with Sasuke so she just keeps her mouth shut.

Kakashi-sensei’s visible eye crinkles. “Of course, my cute little students.” Sasuke makes for the door as Kakashi continues. “Just one more thing.”

Oh, Sakura can practically _feel_ the glare Sasuke sends their sensei.

“You’re going to have to do these exams as a team.”

If Sasuke were any less cool he would have groaned. Instead he inspects his teammates carefully, completely ignoring how Naruto gets steadily more offended the longer his eyes rest on him.

“Hn.”

Sasuke jerks his shoulder slightly to beckon his team to follow before shoving past Kakashi-sensei and opening the door to the exams.

_(”You would have taken the exam half-heartedly to appease Sasuke and Naruto.”)_

Why? 

Why wasn’t it the same?

***

The classroom is massive, easily able to accommodate dozens of shinobi teams with bad attitudes. More importantly, it serves as the setting for the reunion of the rookie nine. Well, ‘rookie nine’ isn’t what they’re called just yet, none of them proving their worth to merit a nickname, but all her ex-classmates still posture and jeer as if they had years under their belt instead of months. Kiba and Sasuke are the worst somehow, though Ino takes the prize for most annoying. 

Ino…Sakura hasn’t really sorted out her feelings on Ino, though that’s more to do with time than anything else. Ino was her first friend, and in her Other memories, her lifelong best friend who stays by her side through everything. She sees how easy it would be to become friends again, how easy it was for the other Sakura. But she _isn’t_ that Sakura. And she’s still a little upset. Maybe she’s being dumb and prideful but she doesn’t want to be the one to make the first move towards rekindling their friendship. Sakura…Sakura loves Ino. Tremendously. Coming to terms with how she feels and how much she misses her friend is hard though, especially since it’s unfortunately not a priority with visions of destruction in her head. So right now, she’ll just play along with the rivalry, which isn’t hard. Sakura may miss her friend but that doesn’t change the fact that Ino is _annoying._ Especially when she can’t catch a hint and let go of Sasuke.

“What’s this Sakura? You’re finally giving in and recognizing me as your superior? That’s alright, I’ll gladly take Sasuke off your over-sized hands.”

Sakura daintily picks at her nails. “Hm? Sorry Ino did you say something? I was just thinking how it’s so shameful when girls throw themselves at men like dogs to a bone. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Ino shrieks and lunges, but Sakura swiftly steps behind Shikamaru who’s staring off into space and let’s him take the hit. They go down in a heap with Chouji somehow getting in the middle of it all. InoShikaCho all start bickering like pros then, which leads Kiba to snort.

“You’re all idiots who won’t last five minutes in this exam.”

Sasuke smirks. “Big words from someone who fights with a puppy.”

Akamaru yips and growls but Sasuke remains unimpressed. Naruto laughs at Kiba’s offended expression and then naturally they’re going at eachothers throats.

The ruckus is causing the rest of the room to glare at the rookies but Sakura pretends not to notice. There’s a strange feeling of completeness that comes with the nine of them being together, and Sakura wants to hold onto that feeling for as long as she can, even if the feeling doesn’t come directly from her.

Sakura can’t lie and say that she isn’t a little unnerved by the influence the memories have over her mental state. Remembering images or thoughts is completely different to the emotions. She _feels_ the, well, feelings. At every new bit of information Sakura reacts differently, but when the _feelings_ of the Other Sakura shine through, it always takes over. She _has_ to feel it, and fight it down when she doesn’t have the time to deal with it. There’s little wonder why Sakura thought she could lose her sense of self to the memories.

But usually the emotions are fond, and almost always occur when she’s with one of her friends.

So when the hatred strikes her, it strikes without warning.

“Hey, you guys!” an older boy with glasses calls to them, clearly irked. “You should probably be a little quiet-”

_Traitor._

killing intent fills the air with crushing pressure, the cruelty red-hot and tense for attack. Kabuto staggers, as does the majority of the genin in the room. The scent of fear rises but Sakura ignores it, ignores everything. 

_I am going to kill you._

Yakushi Kabuto. Orochimaru’s spy.

The rage is strong, strong in a way no genin can generate. The ferocity’s brutal and full of a wrath so deadly and decisive a few of the onlookers succumb to a dead faint. Some of the genin hop up, armed and frantically glancing around the room trying to find the source while others shrink down, shivering through the fear as tears come to their eyes. The majority sit there in silent terror; too scared to move but too smart to leave themselves undefended.

_I’m going to fucking kill you._

She remembers. Going out after she’s finally able to leave the hospital and _seeing_ the carnage. She remembers the blood in the streets and feeling a violent, desperate urge to check on her friends. _All_ of her friends. She remembers barging into different clan compounds and refusing to leave until every single one of the Konoha twelve were accounted for. She checks on Iruka at the academy, checks on the woman who runs the dango stall, checks each training ground individually until every single jounin sensei is alive and well. She even checks on the dumb brats she’d almost beat up a month and a half ago just because they’re _so young_ and the idea that they could be dead keeps her up at night. And eventually she asks about the young silver-haired genin who’d helped them through the second task.

It turns out she never had to go farther than Kakashi-sensei out what happened to her friend. 

_But that didn’t happen to_ me.

As quickly as the killing intent comes it goes, leaving genin swaying on their feet and clutching at their stomachs. Sakura shifts behind the rookie nine, trying to conceal herself as the source. The killing intent wasn’t technically hers, but it definitely came from her and it leaves Sakura just as shaken as the rest of the room.

The glares that were directed their way only a moment ago have disappeared, all the nin shifting on their feet and looking in any direction that isn’t theirs. Some even get up and leave. 

“I…” Kabuto starts, “I see you guys don’t need any of my help.”

Naruto recovers first, like always, and shoves forward as if to deliberately spite the heavy feeling in the air.

“You’re right! I don’t…” he falters, “I don’t really know what happened just then but I’m not giving up!”

Naruto’s voice trembles just a bit but he stands his ground. The tension breaks and everyone looks around fervently, trying to find the source of such a presence. A lot of them settle on Gaara, and Sakura doesn’t blame them.

Actually Sakura doesn’t do much at all.

Tremors wrack her body but it’s easily ignored as the majority of the genin are doing the same. Everyone is nervous and jittery and so afraid she can smell it _oh god what has she done._

The genin recover fairly quickly after the tension is broken. All of them being ninja have reacted to their baser instincts with fight instead of flight, and it’s clear a brawl is imminent. 

Which makes it the perfect time for the proctor to show up and the first exam to begin.

***

Sakura knows the trick to the written exam but she can’t help but show off, writing in extremely long and completely correct answers. She’s been through this whole thing before so she _knows_ that Ino is going to use her family’s jutsu to steal her answers ( _and wasn’t that a hilarious conversation. The two of them getting roaring drunk and confessing secrets they’ve never told before and_ that _was the one Ino decided to share? A nostalgic little anecdote from their genin days? Where’s the whirlwind romances she always says she has? Please Ino, have something a little more interesting to say!,_ ) so Sakura can’t help but leave a little doodle in the corner saying hi.

The written test is passed easily with Naruto being dramatic as ever and declaring his intentions in front of the exam proctor ( _Ibiki Morino_ ) and somehow inspiring the rest of the class into completing their exam, despite the heavy mood she’d caused only moments before. Sakura knew it would happen (well, she knew it _could_ happen) but seeing it transpire was a whole other experience and somehow her own reservations and doubt fades along with the others. The exam would easy.

_Yeah, now she just has the one of the legendary sanin to worry about and an invasion. Priorities Sakura._

Sakura flushes at her own chastisement and shuffles out of the classroom with her teammates after the very loud jounin had introduced herself as the other proctor. All the jounin sensei for the genin are supposed to give them the information on the location of the next exam so it’s no surprise to find Kakashi-sensei slouching against the tree outside the academy.

“All done?” he asks, pocketing the book Sakura would one day burn.

“You know it!” Naruto replies, grinning widely and strutting like he’d already made chunin.

Kakashi hums, inspecting each of them with apparent disinterest before changing his tune entirely and catching them all in a group hug, deftly snagging Sasuke as he tries to avoid it.

“I knew my cute little genin could do it.”

Sakura placidly allows the hug but both the boys are already whining and struggling against the hold. Sakura knows that the majority of the reason Kakashi-sensei hugged them was just to embarass them and give them a hard time, but she still feels lighter after the contact.

“Ne ne, Kakashi-sensei. Can we celebrate with ramen?”

“Hmm.” Kakashi mock considers. “Nope! This is the last day you have before you face the Forest of Death. We’re going to be training.”

Naruto’s shoulders climb. “The what now?”

Sasuke, someone who needs more to impress him, deadpans. “The Forest of Death?”

Kakashi-sensei smiles blandly. “Tomorrow, bright and early at the forty-fourth training ground the second part of your exam begins. I recommend you go over your packs and get plenty of rest.”

It never fails to amaze Sakura how quickly Naruto can shift between moods. The confidence from completing the written exam has entirely evaporated for an unease that Sakura _knows_ is purely based on the training grounds’ unfortunate name. One thing she knows about Naruto is that he’s extremely superstitious. She swears that if a black cat actually crossed his path he would walk around the entire village just to avoid it. 

“Sakura.”

Sakura jumps at the voice and sees that her two teammates have already left to prepare. She blushes and coughs. “Yes, Kakashi-sensei?”

The jounin stares at her and Sakura’s flush deepens. 

Without warning, her sensei drops to the ground, leaning up against the tree and taking out his book. Puzzled, Sakura stares at her sensei in silence, waiting for him to fill it.

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

Alarm jolts her body and Sakura can feel her heartbeat quicken, but it’s stifled immediately by the sight of drumming fingers against the garishly orange spine of his book.

If Kakashi-sensei suspects she has outside information (like she does) then he’d be suspicious, maybe a little disappointed in her actions or something like disapproval would show. Nothing about his demeanor suggests that. Instead he’s nervous, if only slightly, and reveals this with the tell. Hell, maybe taking the book out and averting his eyes at all is a nervous tell.

But…Kakashi-sensei doesn’t have tells. If he shows anything it’s because he _wants_ to show something. So what is it?

Sakura narrows her eyes at the man. He _wants_ her to think he’s vulnerable.

Why? So she’ll lower her guard? Say something incriminating? 

_Well, yeah._

As soon as the conclusion comes to her she wants to smack herself. This is _her sensei_ and she was thinking of him like an enemy. 

Getting physically lower than her when he normally relishes in towering over his genin, pulling out a book to act as a prop to put space between them, keeping his eyes averted even though he asked her a direct question.

_Is there something you want to tell me?_

He’s _concerned._

Her breath leaves her all at once and the tension drains from her body. 

_”When you deal with patients,” her shishou says, “it’s important to understand that, at our core, all of us are animals. And an injured animal is a spooked animal. You have to make yourself non-threatening if you want any information from the patient.”_

_Sakura tries very hard to stifle her snort but it slips out nonetheless._

_“Something funny, brat?” her shishou asks, fist clenching as her eyes narrow._

_“I’m sorry, shishou.” Sakura says. “But it’s hard to imagine anyone feeling safe with one of the great sanin.”_

_There’s just enough flattery there to escape the rap to the head Sakura most definitely deserves._

_“We’re ninja Sakura. It’s part of our job to make people think we’d never hurt them.” She smirks, and brings the flat of her hand down in a frightening strike that she stops right before it hits Sakura’s head, ignoring her squawk. “Even though hurting them is what we’re built for.”_

Kakashi-sensei is worried about her.

The silence drags on and her sensei sneaks looks out of the corner of his eye, waiting patiently for her to respond.

Affection fills her and Sakura is forced to press her lips together to hide her smile. She suddenly has the overwhelming urge to pat his head, and would have done so if she wasn’t worried the gesture would be mistaken for patronizing. Instead she yawns and stretches, completely at ease.

“Nothing that comes to mind sensei.”

Kakashi-sensei sends her a pointed look, as if gesturing to the long silence between when he asked the question and when she answered. Sakura shrugs, unbothered.

She lets him stew for a few moments more before saying her farewells which sensei doesn’t reciprocate and making for home, ignoring the weight of his gaze on her back. It feels…good knowing that someone cares for her well-being. These last few months have felt like she was drowning under the pressure her circumstances had given her and only the steady comfort of routine helped calm her. Now that she thinks about it though, sparring with Naruto helped too, as well as the friendly interactions with Izumo and Kotetsu every day she would go for her run. Now Kakashi-sensei had asserted himself as a person who cares about her, and it feels like the burden she’s put on her shoulders hasn’t, well, gotten any lighter, but now she feels as if she can actually lift it. 

_I will protect my precious people._

Maybe somehow, Sakura is beginning to understand what that truly means.


End file.
